Before:

Stats:

Weight: 218lbs

Chest: 47.5in.

Waist: 47in

Hips: 45in.

R. Mid Thigh: 23in

L. Mid Thigh: 23in.

R. Upper Arm: 15in.

L. Upper Arm: 15in.

So, I had a grand epiphany, I can not allow myself to quit because it hurts no one but ME. If I want to change how I look and feel, I need to be the one to make the changes. I mentioned in the previous post that I started the Slim in 6 program, but I think I will incorporate with my Weight Watchers point system. I was put on a diet plan, but counting calories, but I seem to count points easier. 

I completed my 23 min session of the Slim in 6 today, stuck to my meal plan for the day, I really want to got for a walk tonight. The weather is really nice so I think we'll go after dinner.

Slim in 6!

I need a change in my lifestyle. I feel really icky in my own skin, I am not the person I know I can be. So I hooked up with my Uncle who is a personal coach for Team Beach Body and I am now doing the Slim in 6 program, I am on week 1 phase 1 and I am excited to see the results in 6 weeks. I hope to stay at it, I have no excuses. "cheating is only cheating my self". Below are my Before Pics:

I will update this with my progress.

I really looking for a new look. I want to cut some really cute layers in to my hair so that it'll look something similar to that -------------------------------->

And Brit's cousin is going to color my hair, I am thinking of going bold.different.loud... I want to maybe dye my hair black and add purple highlights. Or maybe just going light and choose a brown and blonde combo... hmmm, idk.

Its easy as 1...2...3...

So, I am at the point that I think that Lil' J's speech has come far enough that we can now work on his preschool learning. He is pretty good at counting to 10, recognizing his shapes and colors, but we just need to keep working on his enunciation and I believe the rest will fall in to place. Today I am going to set up his learning station, we have an alphabet border, I am collecting together some workbook activities to help teach him his alphabet, numbers, colors, etc... I have confidence that he will take it well. He keeps asking about school and so I know that he has that thirst for knowledge, I just have to encourage it. T seems eager to do what ever Bubbas does, so I will tap into that as well.

My dad is also playing a great hand in this process, he reinforces what I am doing here while the kids are with him.

I'm bout to be on my 'A' game...

So I am going to get back on my Weight Watchers program, I gotta get back to me.

I am looking in to buying the P90X program and incorporating that in to my weight loss goals. I am extremely excited about this misssion :)

I am killing the school game, I have achieved a 3.69 GPA and I am workin on another A. Yay me!

I am looking for a new place, we are hoping to find a nice house with a rent to own option. So I need to buckle down on my budgeting and handle business there.

I am also going to focus on being a better, more involved mommy. I feel like I don't do enough with the kids, I'll be the first to admit that sometimes I am lazy with my parenting and that needs to stop, like yesterday.

I also want to be more involved with J, and our relationship, I need to listen more, and bitch less.

And I want to get back to focusing on taking care of myself, in addition to the weight loss goals, I want to start doing things for me, maintaining my hair and skin better, I have been slacking since I became a mommy, and that is so not me. I want to buy myself nice things (I am the shopping on a budget queen...)

While on the topic of hair and things, I need to do more to Titi's hair like I was before.

Well, those are my goals for this month, wish me luck :)

Oh. My.... Are you effin serious?!

So... I had been anxiously waiting for my school disbursement money to come in so J and I can handle so of our bills.... so finally I received the letter that my money was ready! yay! So I got it not too long ago and I had verified with my financial adviser that everything that I needed to do was done, she confirmed that everything was okay...so I bought my laptop for school, paid off my loans, and treated the family to some things since money has been kinda tight lately. No, problem right?... Ha, I get an email 2 weeks (yes, WEEKS) later stating that the money was supposed to pay for my classes and that by mistake they sent me too much and my next 3 courses are now UNpaid. So now I am expected to pay $1500 for my next 3 classes. Umm, no. I received TWO letters confirming that they were sending me the EXCESS money from what was 'left over' from my Financial Aid and Grant money. That's their bad that they didn't cover their asses, not mine because now two weeks later, the money is GONE. My family is encouraging me to fight it, my brother is talking to his lawyer to see if we have a case. I sure hope so. I really want to continue you school, and I want to, it just really peeves me that they have left such a bitter taste in my mouth.

Words from the Heart ♥

"Compromising" involves TWO people, not ME making all the sacrifices and YOU doin whatever you want. I realize now that I can't keep doing this... I need to make strides with my life, and move on.... maybe one day if you get it together, our paths may meet again. -- My FB status. These words just flowed from my heart ♥ ... and it amazes me because its like they were spoken to me, and not from me. *sigh* I hate to accept that its not working, but why keep fighting for something when the battles already lost?

... Back in the day

For as long as I can remember, I always kept some type of journal or diary. I remember my mama had bought me my first diary with a pretty little angel on the cover... she told me that every girl needed a diary to hold all of her thoughts, poetry, drawings, inner most secrets, etc... So I guess my alternative will be this blog... I am on the brink of a mental/emotional breakdown, but I don't have anyone that I can truly talk, so here is where I will vent...

Princess Tiana Turns 2

Titi turns 2. We through her a small 'Princess Tiana' birthday party with some friends and family. She enjoyed her day. 

Daddy helping her blow out her candles

Shark Reef!

Today was Jay'son's 3rd birthday. He loves sharks and I have always wanted to visit the Shark Reef, so what better time than today?! We had a blast, we got to see sting rays, Nemo and Dory (rather, fish that looked like them..), jelly fish, and of course SHARKS! Jay'son ended up getting a shark that squirts water, a Spider-Man truck, and of course a Spider-Man cake, yummy.

Cake was bomb!

The monsters watching a puffer fish

Click HERE to see more pics of our day at the Shark Reef

HappyMom challenge

I follow The Young Mommy Life @ http://www.theyoungmommylife.com/ and I was inspired by the HappyMom challenge and so I've decided that I'm going to do it, I'm finally going to do it... I have made a promise to myself that before this week is over, I will get fitted for a brand new bra in MY size... I read somewhere that about 80% of women wear the wrong size bra, and I am almost 100% sure that I am too... and maybe once I get fitted, my back pain can go away... plus, if the girls are happy, I'll be happy :) lol. I will also be doing the other challenges, so look out for my experience with those! :D

My Life According To Me...

Okay, I'm going to change things up a bit... I have attempted to do this whole blog thing and have been quite unsuccessful, Lol. So this blog is going to be dedicated to my day to day thoughts, just life according to ME! Okay, so yesterday was Valentine's Day and it started out quite craptastically, but J surprised me, I wasn't expecting anything since we're not together anymore, but he bought me a beautiful rose, a cute stuffed animal, and a lovely candle set... he also gave me a really heartfelt card, I was pleasantly surprised! :) Then we went out to dinner at Claim Jumper, it was delish...it felt great, it felt like the old times, so I enjoyed my day...

So I finished my first college course, 1 down, 82734320 to go, not really... but I have a ways to go... but I'll get there, I promise, I'll get there... so far I love being a student... I love the challenge!...

Words of Wisdom

“ Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable, and remove yourself from the unacceptable. ” -- I have sincerely tried to change my ways. I made a conscious effort to refrain from things that I know may cause a fight or argument. I have accepted that J & I are no longer in the same place that we were in when we were 17,18,19,etc... we've both grown, but in separate directions... and I don't like the direction he took so I am removing myself from him.

"When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better." -- Everything happens for a reason... and although I can't fathom life with anyone besides him, maybe I have to be free for whatever blessing God is sending my way...

Love = Pain

I think I am teetering on the brink of depression... I am an emotional wreck and I can literally feel my heart breaking! As much hurt as he's inflicted on me, I loved him enough to look past them and try to make it work... sure, it was probably naive, but I felt like loving him was worth it. I'm just tired of hurting...

Lord, please heal my ♥

Sooo... I am enrolled in school and classes start on Jan 25. I am excited, but nervous all at the same time. I know that getting my BA in Business Communications will open a lot of doors for me. I need a career, I'm tired of having a job, Lol.

I have also began my apartment and car search... I'm just waiting for that good 'ol W2 to come in so I can get my cash money $$ Lol!

Love is...

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails....And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love...

My unsent letter....

You tell me that something is "not right" with me... but have you ever stopped to realize that maybe that "some thing" is contributed to you? Here's some food for thought... Whenever I repress how I am feeling, when I just let the little things go, you always find a way to take advantage of me, you feel like you can do as you please and you don't think twice about your actions... and don't care if it hurts or upsets me... and when those things go ignored, those things escalate to bigger issues so when I try to talk to you, let you know how I feel, you brush me off or act like my concerns are unimportant to you... so when you push me to the point that I get angry; you insult me, you act as if though I'm crazy because I'm upset over "nothing" and that's unfair... but in spite of all of that, the part that upsets me the most is that you don't even seem to care that you hurt me, you act like I'm not worth holding on to... that its just so easy to walk away from me... You once told me recently that you're tired of fighting, that I understand, because I am too... but for you to say that you're tired of it, but yet you continue to do things that you know causes us to fight, then you're not really tired of it all... I feel like you're just tired of fighting for US, that you could care less one or the other if we were to just be done... and you proved it to me when you keep breaking your word without any hesitation... I made a promise that I'd NEVER be tired of fighting for us, you, our family... but I guess everyone has their breaking point, so I guess I am done fighting too... there's no need to keep trying to piece us back together if you keep insisting on breaking us back apart...