Words of Wisdom

“ Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable, and remove yourself from the unacceptable. ” -- I have sincerely tried to change my ways. I made a conscious effort to refrain from things that I know may cause a fight or argument. I have accepted that J & I are no longer in the same place that we were in when we were 17,18,19,etc... we've both grown, but in separate directions... and I don't like the direction he took so I am removing myself from him.

"When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better." -- Everything happens for a reason... and although I can't fathom life with anyone besides him, maybe I have to be free for whatever blessing God is sending my way...

Love = Pain

I think I am teetering on the brink of depression... I am an emotional wreck and I can literally feel my heart breaking! As much hurt as he's inflicted on me, I loved him enough to look past them and try to make it work... sure, it was probably naive, but I felt like loving him was worth it. I'm just tired of hurting...

Lord, please heal my ♥

Sooo... I am enrolled in school and classes start on Jan 25. I am excited, but nervous all at the same time. I know that getting my BA in Business Communications will open a lot of doors for me. I need a career, I'm tired of having a job, Lol.

I have also began my apartment and car search... I'm just waiting for that good 'ol W2 to come in so I can get my cash money $$ Lol!

Love is...

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails....And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love...

My unsent letter....

You tell me that something is "not right" with me... but have you ever stopped to realize that maybe that "some thing" is contributed to you? Here's some food for thought... Whenever I repress how I am feeling, when I just let the little things go, you always find a way to take advantage of me, you feel like you can do as you please and you don't think twice about your actions... and don't care if it hurts or upsets me... and when those things go ignored, those things escalate to bigger issues so when I try to talk to you, let you know how I feel, you brush me off or act like my concerns are unimportant to you... so when you push me to the point that I get angry; you insult me, you act as if though I'm crazy because I'm upset over "nothing" and that's unfair... but in spite of all of that, the part that upsets me the most is that you don't even seem to care that you hurt me, you act like I'm not worth holding on to... that its just so easy to walk away from me... You once told me recently that you're tired of fighting, that I understand, because I am too... but for you to say that you're tired of it, but yet you continue to do things that you know causes us to fight, then you're not really tired of it all... I feel like you're just tired of fighting for US, that you could care less one or the other if we were to just be done... and you proved it to me when you keep breaking your word without any hesitation... I made a promise that I'd NEVER be tired of fighting for us, you, our family... but I guess everyone has their breaking point, so I guess I am done fighting too... there's no need to keep trying to piece us back together if you keep insisting on breaking us back apart...